In a recent blog from Marelisa Fabrega, lawyer and entrepreneur, she spoke of 17 ways to be kinder to yourself! It seems like a lot, but when we think about all the ways and times that we put ourselves down, it’s not that much.
There’s a reason why this message of needing to be kinder to ourselves has become so pervasive; it’s because poor mental health has greater awareness than ever before. We are growing in our ability to self-observe in a healthy way – not simply taking selfies and saturating our Instafeed, but in a personal and private way. We’ve also accumulated decades of psychological profiling that helps us understand why we fail and why we succeed, and much of it has to do with positive and negative conditioning.
Success is not about choosing the right job and earning piles of money. It’s not about developing a product or service that no one else can compete with. It’s about finding our place and our purpose and having the confidence to fulfil it.
Here are a few of Fabrega’s suggestions to turn up the kindness:
Self-respect is valuing yourself for who you are, and not allowing others to dictate your value. It’s trusting yourself, thinking for yourself, forming your own opinions, and making your own decisions. In addition, it’s refusing to compare yourself to others.
Finally, self-respect is about keeping your promises to yourself and following through on what you tell yourself that you’re going to do. Be kind to yourself by deeply respecting yourself.
We all mess up. Look at the following:
- Maybe you did something in the past that you’re not proud of.
- Perhaps you failed to stand up for yourself and you let someone else get the better of you.
- You may have missed a great opportunity because you got scared.
- Maybe you failed to follow through on an important goal.
If you’re angry at yourself, you need to show yourself kindness: stop blaming yourself, resolve to do better from now on, and forgive yourself.
Carve Out Some Time For Yourself.
Every day carve out some time for yourself and do something that brings you joy. You can draw, journal, write short stories, play a musical instrument, or do anything else that you love to do. Be kind to yourself by giving yourself some “me time” each day.
Give Yourself Recognition.
Often, we’re quick to acknowledge the achievements of others but slow to acknowledge our own. That has to stop. Become aware of your own achievements and give yourself recognition.
When you do something you’re proud of, stop for a minute and dwell on it. Praise yourself and relish the achievement. Compliment yourself. Pat yourself on the back and say the following: “Kudos to me!”
Remind Yourself of Your Good Qualities.
Maybe you’re a little heavier than “the ideal body type”, but you have long, lustrous hair. Maybe you’re not great at sports, but you’re an ace at math. Maybe you tend to be melodramatic, but you have a great sense of humor.
Always remind yourself of your good qualities.
Tell Yourself, “I Am Enough”.
We’ve all had times in our lives when we’ve thought, “I’m not good looking enough, or smart enough, or strong enough to get what I want.” Stop it with the “I’m not enough” self-talk and replace it with the following;
“I’m enough, just as I am.”
“I deserve to be happy.”
“I deserve to have everything I want.”
In addition, tell yourself that nothing has to happen to make you worthy. You are already enough.
Accept yourself as you are. You have strengths, and you have weaknesses. Sometimes you succeed, and sometimes you fail. Sometimes you’re right, and sometimes you’re wrong. Allow yourself to fully be who you are.
If you need someone to back you on this journey of turning up the kindness, let’s connect and make it happen.